Vacation...Slow Blogging

Back when I can...

(P) Sleep Deprivation

Autistic kids have a hard time sleeping. Our three year-old son is frequently awake multiple times a night. He cries out. He gets up. He moves to the floor. He hollers. He cries. He rarely sleeps anymore through a naptime - waking up earlier than he seems to need.

Perhaps as a parent you can relate.

We've coped, we tested, we've medicated (him, not us...although...). We use ear plugs. We move to the sofa. We pray. We go to bed early. We get up more often and earlier than we really want to. And we drink a lot of caffeine.

We also laugh. Gotta have a sense of humor to effectively parent an autistic child! For that matter, if you don't smile a lot parenting ANY child, you are probably in serious trouble. Anyway, in hopes you'll laugh and be encouraged, a little "Top Ten" list.

Paul Gilbert, a television producer and dad of two small children. He produced "Sleep Like A Baby: What Every Parent Needs to Know About Babies & Sleep," a video for new and expectant parents. Here's his take on sleep deprivation.

THE TOP TEN SIGNS THAT YOU'RE A SLEEP DEPRIVED PARENT

10) It's a good day when you remember to brush your teeth

9) You blame your spouse or partner for everything

8) The circles under your eyes have circles

7) You'll put up with your relatives' neuroses, as long as they'll baby-sit

6) You can barely navigate the stroller, much less the car

5) You now understand why your parents always looked so old

4) You hate anyone who says their baby sleeps through the night

3) There's no such thing as a "long enough" nap

2) If the phone rings after 8 PM, you think, "who in their right mind would call this late?"

AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN THAT YOU'RE A SLEEP DEPRIVED PARENT

1) You would definitely rather sleep, than have sex

Entire article, including some good advice, is here.

(P) Learning Opportunity: Stolen Cellphone

Fascinating tale of a lost cell phone, attempts to retrieve it and lost concepts of honesty, justice and shame.

Opening lines from the NYTimes story:

The tale began when Mr. Guttman's best friend Ivanna left her cellphone in a taxicab, like thousands of others before her. After Ivanna got a new Sidekick, she logged on to her account — and was confronted by pictures of an unfamiliar young woman and her family, along with the young woman's America Online screen name.

The 16-year-old, Sasha Gomez, of Corona, Queens, had been using the Sidekick to take pictures and send instant messages. She apparently did not know that the company that provided the phone's service, T-Mobile, automatically backs up such information on its remote servers. So when Ivanna got back on, there was Sasha.

Using instant messages, Mr. Guttman tracked down Sasha and asked her to return it. "Basically, she told me to get lost," Mr. Guttman recalled. "That was it."

So he set up a no-frills Web page with a brief account of what happened, and posted the pictures of the girl and her family.

Now, as a parent, I want to talk this little matter through with my kids. In this real-life account, Sasha was not honest enough to return the phone when asked. She had her reasons, and her supporters. A lot here to mine with your kids, or even just a small group of friends at the coffee shop.

Give it a read, and some thought.

(P) MySpace Content Controls Welcome

MySpace.com, the leasder in the social networking sector - and alarmingly, also a heavily-prowled site by sexual predators - is implementing some safety features for MySapce users. Welcome news for parents as reported from Rueters:

This may seem like a no-brainer (especially to marketers) but by next week, members who are 18 years or older will have to know the e-mail address or the first and last name of any 14- or 15-year old member whom they want to contact. Also, any of MySpace's more than 85 million members will now be able to choose to hide their information from strangers, and only make their profiles viewable to their friends. For sites like Friendster, this is rudimentary security stuff that the world's largest social network site has been lacking. Perhaps the open nature of the site was partly responsible for its enormous growth--that and its unmatched interactive features. News of the changes came after a 14-year-old girl from Texas on Monday sued Rupert Murdoch and Co. for $30 million, alleging that she was sexually assaulted by a 19-year-old man she met on MySpace. The suit says the company did not take suitable precautions in protecting minors from sexual predators. Odds the case will be settled out of court: even. Should they prove effective, the safety moves could be a boon for advertising on MySpace, which said it's also revising its advertising policy for certain age groups; for example, ads for dating sites would not be shown to minors in the future.

Of course, parental oversight, conversations with your teen about purity and wisdom, and general in-home internet precautions are the first steps in helping protect your son or daughter from abusive use of the Web, or worse.

Read the whole story here.

Favorite Bookmarks

I am finding that I use only a handful of bookmarks on a daily/regular basis. They include:

Netvibes, a customized home page that offers RSS feeds and more. This is my default place to go when I check in

Instapundit, one of the more heavily read bloggers with a conservative perspective and some good links to a wide variety of other sites

Hugh Hewitt, another major conservative voice and a radio talk show host

Dealmac, a handy and very reliable site for discount deals on Macs and other tech equipment

Google News, for a nice summary of current happenings at a glance

Woot, which is a lot more than it seems (One Deal Per Day). Sheer entertainment value is high!

(C) Motherhood and the Future, II

Continuation of a two-part post I started over a week ago. A provacatie perspective about women and declining worldwide birthrates and what those mean for the future.

Newsweek columnist Robert J. Samuelson notes, among other things that the American fertility is roughly at the replacement rate, 2.1 children per woman. What explains the fact that American birthrates are higher than most other developed countries?

At work are cultural forces of greater optimism, greater patriotism and stronger religious values. People in the USA are generally happier about life, it seems.

A survey by the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago asked respondents in 33 countries to react to this statement: "I would rather be a citizen of [my country] than of any other." Among Americans, 75 percent "strongly" agreed; among Germans, the French and Spanish, comparable responses were 21 percent, 34 percent and 21 percent, respectively.

Children are now usually a conscious choice—whereas they were once considered economic necessities or religious obligations.

...generous welfare states may discourage having children. A study by economists at the University of Minnesota found that high Social Security payments and payroll taxes are associated with low fertility rates. People may feel they don't need children to care for them in old age. Or high taxes and poor economies may deter young people from starting families.

Samuelson points out that "by not having children, people are voting against the future—their countries' and, perhaps, their own."

It is easy to imagine the sacrifices and disappointments of raising children. It is hard, try as people might, to imagine the intense joys and selfish pleasures. People ignore Adam Smith's keen insight: "[The] chief part of human happiness arises from the consciousness of being beloved."

This was a good article, and I concur with the writer's conclusion. Kids, while being expensive and life-altering in their impact, are worth every bit of the sacrifice and effort. I cannot imagine my life without six children.

(P) Not What I Needed To Hear

Many people, upon hearing of our boy's autism, offer well-meaning comments and connections.

The other day a co-worker said his neice is autistic. Nearing the teen years, her condition is difficult. She is still in diapers, is usually in her own little world and eats a highly limited diet. Unable to verbalize meaningfully, she is not receiving any really helpful treatment. This is about the best she will ever be, without some sort of miracle. And that is a bitter pill for her parents to swallow.

My co-worker observed that his relatives act as though the girl has some demon, and that any discussion about the challenges of her disability would anger the autism demons and make things worse. Either that, or these poor folks are simply so overwhelemed and discouraged that they have no hope. The result is that they rarely talk about her needs.

They also have little help. The label/diagnois came somewhat recently, due to some very serious physical maladies that required a lot of surgery and hospital time during her first 8 to 10 years of life.

As we talked, my co-worker trying to connect a bit with your situation, he unintentionally added to my level of concern for my son. The boy is young - not even three - and his long-term prognosis remains unknown. we hope for the best, of course, but we don't know. And so, in the back of my mind - always - is the dread that this little guy may not make it past this level of intellectual, social and emotional ability. I pray that not be the case, that he will enter first grade on time and with no need for any special intervention. That is possible. That is my prayer.

As we spoke, though, this friend only raised my anxieties. What if this is the best he will ever be? What if we find ourselves in our retirement years, still caring for him? What if...?

I know this man wanted to help. What he shared with me, though, was not what I needed to hear.

(P) Learning Opportunity: D-Day

Remembering the heroes of that incredible invasion. Here's a site that aggregates perspectives and points to some great links.

I am privileged to know a number of WWII veterans. Our deepest appreciation and gratitude to those who served, and to their families.

This is history that our children must know about. I fear that the coming generation is woefully uniformed. Let's change that!