Sleep Study "Victim" Survives!

Last week I was in Denver with my little guy for his sleep study at Children's Hospital. We had a fine time - really! Thanks to the prayers of many, he handled the 25-30 wires affixed all over his body pretty well. He fought the technician at first, then accepted the process of having goop put on, then wires attached, then bandaids and gauze wrapped all over.

Looked like a little mummy, as the picture shows! He slept...well, normally, which is to say he awoke numerous times. The tech said it was a successful study. Hooray!

Should know in a week or two about anything they might have discovered through this process. I hope so! We are ready for him to sleep soundly through the night without medications. That would be nice.

A Joyful Journey

As parents, we want the best for our children. Our every effort is to guide them to maturity, to cultivate within them a good heart, to equip them with the best tools for success, to enable them to find their place in this world. Those who are Christian dads and mom also seek to fulfill the Scriptural admonition to raise up a child who will fear the Lord, and so shepherd that son or daughter toward having their own personal faith.

None of us, though, can look into the future and see what the end result of our parenting efforts will be. The couple who just got home from the hospital with their precious little newborn baby is just starting a long journey. There is simply no way possible for them to predict where that road called parenting will take them during the coming years, nor to know just what that cute little bundle will be like in another two decades.

The journey of parenting is one of great joy, laughter, some tears, emotional anguish, fond memories and more personal growth than seems possible. Perhaps that is in spite of, or maybe because of, the uncertainties of the task. Regardless, it is one I wouldn't trade for any experience on earth.

If you have kids, I hope you feel the same.

As It Should Be

Only an hour ago he asked, "When are we gonna start reading Lord of the Rings again, Dad?" I told him I would like that, but we've got some hurdles to surmount. The kitchen duty chores have been divided up differently, so that it is no longer a group effort. Each night a different child takes on the entire task, solo. Well, the table gets cleared off by all, but that still leaves plenty to do for just one person, especially a grade-schooler. We've had some motivation issues, and that requires some parental intervention and assistance, which takes time and energy...and then when the kitchen is finally cleaned up, it is pretty much bedtime (yes, it can take that long to clean up after 8 people - and tonight's BBQ'd ribs was a wonderfully messy meal to clean).

This was not a perfect evening, but a nice one. After a tremendous meal, which the children devoured, the cleanup took some time and effort. I put the little one to bed, and he seemed ready to sleep without much fuss. Now there is a gathering in the living room, as Mom reads a book, Carry On Mr. Bowditch. It is excellent, historical fiction encompassing history, geography, astronomy and more. Really fascinating.

And it strikes me that we need - I need - more evenings like this one. Family dinner followed by some "down time" and togetherness. Our routine got lost somewhere before Christmas, and we haven't found it since. We've had too much going on, some illness, some unexpected travel, visitors. All of that got into the way of our beloved nightly routine. And we all noticed that.

I like what is happening right now. This is our family, as it should be. Oughta be. Needs to be.

It is getting late. We let the kids stay up a bit longer, as we have enjoyed the night's tone and activities. The book is closed, our prayers have been said, and now, it is bed time. G'night.

Apply Yourself

In grade school I was like many (most?) boys: a bit on the lazy side. Not that I was a bad student, mind you. I could have done better, though. Whenever my parents had their conference with my teacher, they usually heard some perspective like this: "John could do really well, if he would only apply himself."

Well, I finally did learn to apply myself - so some degree - by high school. My grades were good enough, and I had some measure of self-discipline. I found some gratification in doing well, and that helped prepare the way for college.

The first two years at college were within a fairly safe environment. The school was small, and the framework from which we were taught was from a Christian perspective. My biggest challenge, mentally, was a medical ethics course in which I learned to grapple with the gray areas of life. It was a stretch for me, and to this day I am still unsure as to where, exactly, the professor was trying to take us. My lessons in "applying" myself were paying off.

Transferring to another college had a more dramatic impact upon me, especially upon my spiritual life. An art school can be a very unsettling place to be studying! While I had some good friends, I struggled some with the perspectives of the professors and many of the students. The worldview I had adopted a few years prior when I became a Christian was challenged time and time again. I ran into people who were not just apathetic toward Christianity, but were downright hostile.

Through this, I learned the value of applying myself to the task of being a "real" person. The temptation to be an "undercover Christian" was great. Why subject myself to harassment, to ridicule for being so…rigid. As a follower of Christ, I might have been branded a radical, or an out-of-touch weirdo, or worse. I had a choice to make, and I thank God that I was able to choose well, not shrinking from my spiritual life but seeking to prod others to consider their own faith. Fortunately, I weathered those years pretty well, and, in fact, think that my faith was tempered well by the experience.

The apostle Peter wrote to a people of faith, mostly Gentile believers, who were weathering some difficult times. They were pressed by a culture that was not willing to accept their faith, and which persecuted men and women who claimed the name of Christ. They endured hardships for their spirituality. In his first letter, Peter encouraged his readers to prepare their minds for action. He encouraged them to hold fast, but to also "apply themselves" to real Christian living, which required action. Those who were suffering were called to act in a manner consistent with their beliefs, and this meant that they had to be forthright about their faith. This in spite of a society that rejected their deeply held beliefs.

Today there are many across the world who are suffering for Christ. They cannot shirk their duty, to proclaim their Savior and to live a life worthy of His name. These believers must apply themselves to leading exemplary lives despite a hostile environment.

While I was never the subject of persecution, I left that art school with a better understanding of those with differing theological viewpoints, with a heart for the person who rejects the faith altogether, with a desire to live a consistent and authentic life of faith. I am grateful for the time, and for the grace of God which led me to "apply" myself. And every now and again I wonder where some of those old friends are today.

Worked, Sort Of

Status Report: As suggested last time, I did spend time with the kids as they settled into bed. However, having three girls in one room, sharing a bunk bed, does not allow for the most private conversations!

The boys...well, one talked, the other was tired and the third was a handful to put to bed (that'd be the two year-old).

So, limited success. Will modify this and see what I can achieve in the way of meaningful interaction with my wonderful children at bedtime.

Five Minutes, That's All

In fairness, I first heard of this meaningful way to spend good time with our kids from Joe White, an incredible man who owns and runs Kanakuk Kamps.

Today in a conversation at the office I was reminded about the idea. Here it is. And it is so easy for parents to do.

A co-worker, Rob, has five kids. He is a busy guy. He does something at home that works well in deepening family relationships. It helps him connect with his children. Spends just five minutes each night sitting on each of his children's bed, asking about their day and about tomorrow.

It takes Rob about half an hour each evening to do this. He hears all sorts of good stuff. And then he affirms and says a short prayer for that child. Tells him or her why he loves them (you are a gift from God). Joins them in thanking God for a good day, in asking God for grace or help for the next day.

Five minutes of one on one time with each child. How they must welcome that interaction. Rob likes it too! Those kids will remember that time with much fondness, no doubt. They'll likely repeat the process with their own children in a couple of decades.

What a gift to the next generation and beyond.

I like that idea. Think I'll try it tonight.

Lots of Work, Little Free Time

Talking to a co-worker who has, I think, seven children, I became aware of how tiring it can be to parent a larger family. We have six kids, and I am acutely aware of time's passing - and the pull of so many urgent things on my time. I am familiar first hand with the difficulty in balancing time between work and my family relationships. How to find the moments to meaningfully connect with first my wife and then each of my children? It is a struggle which requires continual evaluation, reflection, prayer, thought and action.

It isn't so hard to engage the kids collectively. That can be done over dinner, or at bedtime prayers, or in between. Having the wherewithal to talk to my spouse after all those exchanges, though, is another thing. And then to additionally carve out five, ten or more minutes for and with each of the kids…that is a hard task. God, help me do this well!

Anyway, just had a quick conversation with Mike, who has a very daunting task. He has a larger family, and the financial strain he deals with is significant. My situation seems relatively easy compared to his. Mike is working full time at the office. To supplement the family's income, he delivers newspapers every day. That requires him to rise very early each morning. And now with tax season here, he will is spending increasing hours preparing taxes for others. Three jobs! As he described his schedule, I realized that however I am feeling pulled in many directions, Mike is stretched far more.

While I may be tired, he is exhausted. I am blessed to have but one job, and we are able to live sufficiently comfortable on that income, but Mike works three different jobs to provide for his family's needs.

I asked him, "How do you find time to be with your family?" Well, he seems to have - at this time - Sundays off, and a couple of evenings are free.

"Its sure seems that as I feel drained by work, I have a more difficult time engaging with and leading my family. How do you do it?" Mike looked at me, smiled weakly, and said he tries as best he can.

I left that interaction thanking God for my own situation, and feeling that I have little room to complain. I can only hope and pray that I will be the husband and daddy my wife and kids need. Let me purpose here to provide the emotional support they are entitled to from me with strength. I will (try to) guide the table talk with purpose. I'll demonstrate love in meaningful ways to each member of my family.

Guess I'd better start making that transition, from "Mr. Office" to "Mr. Husband and Dad" each day as I drive home.

It takes a lot of work to balance time. How do you do that?

Mix Things Up A Little

In church today the youth helped take up the offering. As could be expected, the kids were not quite, shall we say, sophisticated about the matter as the adults normally are.

Ours is a contemporary church, non-denominational, and pretty relaxed. At one time we rather prided ourselves on not having a lot of structure and frowned upon routines. We’ve not been heavy into tradition, and yet…yet, there are some expectations about when and how we do things on Sunday morning.

For instance, we start by 10:01. And we end by noon. The announcements usually follow the third worship song that we sing. That sort of thing.

So, the offering. The youth had the principles down for standard protocol in passing the little baskets around. One in each aisle, each usher passing the collection baskets to alternate rows of the section they are “working.”

Today, though, the kids seemed to have forgotten the middle sections. There we were, sitting and watching other “cheerful givers” drop their monies and checks into the baskets all round us. And yet, no one came to ask us for our contribution. The side sections were being served by the teen ushers, but what happened to our section?

The dynamic was fascinating to watch. Whispers arose. The song was forgotten by many who were distracted by the obvious mistake of those kids. The youth leadership was sitting near the front, watching the proceedings with a look of grave concern on their faces. “Who messed up here? What in the world are we gonna do?”

Meanwhile, around me the adults continued to whisper back and forth…it was really uncomfortable for many. I could imagine someone wondering, “How can I give to the church if they pass me by?” “Surely someone will see the error and step in to receive our offerings here in the middle?” “Those kids, just don’t seem to get it.”

Ah, then the young man came by with the basket. He had started at the BACK of the church. Big, red, flashing lights were reminding him that this is not SOP, you don’t start at the back, you start at the front! Sighs of relief arose. The collection will be completed. Clumsily, but at least it will be done.

Then, however, the realization that there was only one usher for our section. Not two. Uh-oh. Now what? More whispers. “Who do I pass this basket to when I am done putting in my offering?” “Hey, this still isn’t right. You mean I have to pass this thing up to the next row myself?”

As yet another moment of dis-ease was registering, out of the corner of my eye I saw one of the guys who is often up front on the worship team. Oh, look! Richard to the rescue! Of course, who else? He is always serving, it seems, and happily. Now he was gathering those wayward baskets, smiling as he did so, if to say to those who had lingering concerns, “It’s alright. We’ve got it under control. Your gift is in good hands. We’ll get through this just fine.”

And so, the offering was indeed completed, and we moved on. But it was an interesting moment. I think it was good, actually. I mean, here we are, somewhat proud for not adhering to a lot of traditional trappings. And - boom – the offering gets done a bit differently and some people seem disoriented and distressed.

I’ve got to think that this was a way for God to remind us that there is nothing particularly sacred about the way in which the offering is received. Really. Get over it!

And maybe He was also telling us that we need to lighten up a bit. If we don’t want to get stuck in routines and too much structure, this kind of exercise might be just the thing we need to do more often. Mix the order up, try some new things, be less predictable.

As I finish this entry, I am aware of yet another application, one for me personally. perhaps God is reminding me to be open to new things in all of my life, to not get too comfortable in how I go about my daily routines and expectations. Could He be leading me to question - in fresh ways - what my life is really all about? Hmmm.

I hope the kids are leading worship next week at church.

Choosing Time Well

You and I have been given by God the gift of time. He affords each individual the same 24 hours a day. It is ours to use as we see fit, and many people have little choice in how they fill each day's time.

Around the world are people who must spend vast quantities of their time trying to survive - either tilling the land or working one or more jobs just to put food on the table and provide shelter for their family.

Here in our country we are, of course, much more fortunate. We have more choices than most of the world can comprehend, and I am not saying there is any particular virtue in that circumstance. In fact, at times I think the responsibility of what we have been given - in the way of time, tools and opportunities - is a heavy burden to bear.

That said, you and I have time at hand, and we make daily choices about using that time. For the benefit of ourselves, our God, others. And if I am ever tempted to complain about having too little time to do this or that or the other thing, a little perspective is all I need.

Then, SNAP, I am put in my place and stop complaining.

Hmmm. Maybe it is time to shut down the computer and get some rest...

Ghost Soldiers

The lesson about time, how it marches on, and how I need to reckon with it and utilize it well came home recently. Took me back about a year...

I was reading a book, Ghost Soldiers. This is a powerful account about the horrific experiences of a group of WWII prisoners, men who were sorely mistreated and neglected by their Japanese captors, men who over the course of several years wasted away to almost sheer skin and bone (hence their nickname, Ghost Soldiers).

Despite being helplessly forgotten in a prison camp, an ocean away from anything or anyone familiar, they suffered unimaginable horrors, had few resources at their disposal and frankly, knew little hope of survival. Yet, in this dire situation the men put to work their only assets, their intellect, their imagination, their abilities, their attitudes and their time.

They had time abundant. These prisoners really had time to burn. And they used it well. Read the section about their constuctive approach toward time management (!), involving language lessons, athletics, studying astronomy, exchanging individual expertises, creating art, improving their surroundings, and more. Ghost soldiers, perhaps, but men with a sense of using time well. Try perusing pages 132-136 for more.

Back to today. You and I have been given the gift of time. In the coming new year, many competing priorities will arise, demanding our time and energy. Some of those will revolve around work, outreach, education. There will be time demands from family. Our stuff will require our energies and attentions. How do we balance? How do we apply ourselves to the most significant, most important (which is certainly not going to be the most urgent) priorities? That, of course, is a major question most of us deal with at one time or another...

By grace we have 365 days a year, 24 hours in each day, to spend somehow. Most of us in the US are fortunate in that what we do with that time is pretty a matter of choice. Unlike the men above, we're not typically faced with an abundance of time and few distractions. Still, there are lessons to be learned from them.

The men at Cabutuan made good use of their time, engaging in meaningful relationships, encouraging and caring for each other, exercising their minds and bodies, carving meaning out of a nearly meaningless situation. Somehow, if they could make time purposeful, I suppose I can too.

How? How will YOU use your coming days?

A Real Video iPod?

Interesting speculation out there about the next big thing from Apple (now that they've introduced an iPod boombox of sorts and a new Mac Mini): A larger screen, bigger capacity iPod with real video appeal.

Someone made a quick graphic, and it looks very nice. Avid iPod users may note that there is no mechanical click wheel - it is a software element, brought to the fore of a touch screen when pressure is applied in the right place on that screen. Several sites seem to indicate this is all going to be announced in the next month or so, with full length movies offered on iTunes.

In light of Microsoft's latest, an "ultraportable" PC (albeit with very short battery life, no input mechanism and a price tag of $700), this is a pretty interesting alternative.

Maybe this is what Apple has up its sleeve? If so, what does it mean for consumers? Will they pay for and watch video on a 4-inch screen? If I had an hour long daily commute, which many people in big cities face each way to and from work, I'd consider that a good way to spend some of that time. Would I use thisw device? Or the other guys' "ultra" thingee? Not much of a decision, really...